august wilson is driving spikes through my eyelids

have been too damn tired and busy to succumb to my heroin like addiction to blogger, but after the break and the mental anguish that IS this 10 page paper for seshagiri ("but hating my teacher won't write this paper...only writing it will." -beau sia), i quasi-promise to post more regularly. if only for the sake of my mental health.

need....smoking companionship. where....is k-jo.

more soon, fingers crossed. THURSDAY'S GREEN BEER DAY. this liver of mine is going to bleed out of its body for sheer relief that the week's over. examine: ER on sunday, 3 exams, the 10 page paper, and classwork/homework besides. anguish. anguish.

oooooOOOOOOoohhh.....- beach boys

actual conversation, AIM, 2h08 pm:

Kels375: I can't believe I'm fucking sick.
zeldafitz79: i'm sorry, girlie
zeldafitz79: i remember once
zeldafitz79: when i was sick
zeldafitz79: you made me chicken and rice soup and jello
zeldafitz79: truthfully, i made myself sick. On white russians. And bailey's.
zeldafitz79: and i ended up throwing it and half my stomach lining up
zeldafitz79: but the thought will always be remembered
Kels375: it was my pleasure. even when you threw up on my car.
Kels375: it wasn't the first time duchess was puked upon. it was the last, but not the first.

i love kelsey. and let it be known that TECHNICALLY, i threw up on the OUTSIDE of her car, driving down I-65, and had the slight forbearance to roll down the window and projectile vomit. i've i'd throw up IN dutchess, i would probably never have gotten over the shame.

didn't go to psych today because i woke up at fucking 10h10, read August Wilson's Jitney through all my classes. Interesting in the medical/biological field of this Life of Lisa, I smoked half a cigarette before French and began getting these weird fuzzy spots in my vision, like spritzes of sparklers or something, and my lips started kind of buzzing. I think it's some adverse reaction of nicotine and birth control, but it was pretty scary for a few minutes there. not scary enough to get me to quit, but scary enough for me to sit down for a few minutes and go "Well goddam....wow....goddam...."

About to go on a recon misson in young torey's room, see how much of her stuff would need to be displaced in order to turn her room into the VIP party lounge ryan and i have been envisioning....if she's moved out to jill's, and we don't have a fourth roommate, i don't see the dilemma. More later.

why didn't i go home? WHY DIDN'T I GO HOME?

i think this pretty much sums up last night at caroline's-- however much i adore the girl, i am a bad, BAD drunk.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/alcoholwarnings.shtml

thanks NICK for de heads up. he's an ebaum addict these days, i hear.

quel fatigue

I hate the damn ass dreariness of this particular background, which has led me to form a new blog, which makes me not want to post on this one. I don't know, i was severely discouraged by the words of Amy Elias in my collo. class, espousing the idea that blogs that're just about people's personal lives are complete bullshit. However, I also believe, or indeed, espouse the idea that Amy Elias's colloq. class is complete bullshit. Thus we find ourselves at a cross roads. I guess I'll use this one for the social calendar and the other for what i used to do with what i've been listening to and watching. so if anyone wants to nitpick or whatever, it's http://ignu.blogspot.com.

last night, had no desire whatsoever to drink, having a slight fever and feeling like shit, as was ryan, but then aaron and eddie and larissa came over, and seon joined in, and what was a girl to do but slam some vodka (WHICH SHE HERSELF PURCHASED-- the great american fake ID experiment was a smashing success) and fall asleep watching Death Race 2000? Today K-jo and I are supposed to go to the thrift store and out to dinner wit' her folks in gatlinburg, which i did long ago with ryan and bitchstal-- gatlinburg is a cheesy fineness tho, and i'll be happy to see the lights of a thousand pancake huts again. This week was so hectic what with readin a hellalong history of black performance arts and theater in america for that 10 page paper due in march and having an exam on thursday in anthro (Which was surprisingly smooth), but i was rewarded by the fact of UT installing an ICEE MACHING in Rocky Top Cafe, and class being cancelled friday morning, which allowed me to debauch freestyle the night before. Nick made a smash hit with the freshmen in retelling, Uncle Remus style, last year stories, and purposefully getting steve exceedingly drunk in a particularly dangerous game of "Asshole" followed by "Bullshit". It's funny how all college drinking card games are more or less obscenity based in nomenclature. ((laughs))

k-jo has summoned....she's up up and away! more later.

long suffering lisa....((to cat stevens tune))

isn't it weird how ryan's shirt is an ever so slightly different pigment than mine? or vice versa?

at least john paul's new girlfriend isn't prettier than me. i mean, vanity aside, she isn't. THAT would be a fatal blow. but clarence, the las' boy i had interest in, wasn't prettier than john paul. he has MUCH nicer hair, and a better disposition, but not so prettier. tho kelsey insists different, and vehemently.

sighs. dramatically. like a 9th grader.

glover's playing homework hotline, so i'se got to split. more on everything...soon. SOON I SAY!

I fucking love fucking l-sch

I was mentioned not once but twice by the beautiful

so cover up your toes, 'cause everybody knows...

i'm trying to look like this at present, my girl joan crawford as a south seas hooker, but i look more like a dickerson road hooker at present. the kind without teeth, much less gleaming perfect harsh red lipstick. i do have the goggle eyes down, tho.

it isn't so much to want to look like some michael curtiz heroine, is it? i don't have to seduce lionel barrymore, i just want to look fabulous in a bias cut silk dress.

glover did me the intolerable wrong of mentioning something he shouldn't have last night, i don't know if i'm very happy with him right now. i don't give a fuck what he actually said, but the fact that he said it was very cruel. he can't come over and drink anymore for now. "discourtesy is unspeakably ugly to me."

but--

there are a few positives in this life of riley--

1) smoking-- if k-jo weren't around, i would be probably be a raving lunatic by now. and god knows she and i love our smokes.

2) clark gable-- i stayed up until two last night watching Wife Vs. Secretary...it wasn't even that good and it made me happy anyway. hats off.

3)k-jo-- see one and hundreds of innumerable others.

4) writing class-- sure, i may be getting my ass kicked on "intentionality" (i'm going to pull the william faulkner defense here, which i might be qualified to actually use if i could just crank out a credible story), but it's got me doing what i really care about again, and i'm working back to being as good as i know i used to be.

5)f. scott fitzgerald-- my one true love. the only celebrity i'd care about, you could knock all the others out of the galaxy. i picked up a book written by sheilah graham's son about fitz in hollywood with his ma, and it just makes me want to pick him in both arms. even the crazy drunk moments, at least i can empathize.

well, it's time to take a moment for #1 on this list, so i'll be back later. i found some mad ass exciting websites (oh god, how completely dorky that sounds, i wont' know until later) to be discussed in detail. so next time, www.tvparty.com in its entirety. {:

this'll be the last time...i ever do your hair for you....

devil vodka.


well, i WAS in a relatively good mood until young jerod informed me that i made a spectacle of myself friday night making out with "some guy" ( have a distinct feeling it was probably mike from new york) in front of the Holt...i myself, having blacked out, have no recollection of said events, but hell, don't care, will continue not caring until next we meet. but i'm glad i didn't call him last night to invite him to my korean party, because that would have been a distinct faux pas if jerod speaks de truth. which, he probably does. why do i get myself into these retardosities? i jes' feel bad about 'em later.

last night was much more fun than friday anyway-- i had my "welcome to america" korean party with the new roommate seon and seon's 10 korean friends-- my sweet Lord. We made 120 red and blue jello shots (dazzling blueberry or whatever was much better than strawberry), hung up a bunch of red white and blue balloons (k-jo is a GENIUS...we walmart'd our asses off earlier in the day to pull the thing together, under much emotional strain), played no music whatsoever (this bitch is THROUGH with noise complaints), and generally had a very good time. there were some indiscrepancies involving a bunch of stoned people and an exploded bottle of hunch punch, but again, the past is the past. i smoked about half a hundred cigarettes with my two new best friends, two and juan, these two guys who're like twenty something, who also, with seon and i think steve, helped me empty the beer drawer, the jello shots that remained, and several hits of cheap vodka and korean whiskey alike. that korean whiskey is a sneaker-upper...you think, well, come on, 20 proof? and smooth to drink? and the next, you're cursing the god who made you.

bought the scissor sisters album after it was recommended to me by Stefan, it definitely is stupendously, stupidly fun to listen to.

more later. i dig everything, scrap earlier sentiment.